It's happened to everyone. Whether you're confused and having a hard time paying attention, had to wake up at an ungodly early hour, or just had to stay up until the end of the Modern Family marathon last night, everyone has taken a little snooze during class at least once in their life. Based on my own personal experience, here's my handy little guide to the five stages of falling asleep in class.
1. The Headache: You're trying to pay attention, but you just can't. You feel restless, but at the same time, feel like you can't move. Your head is pounding, but not in an "I have a migraine and need to go home sort of way." You want to put your head down, and you find yourself wondering why there is absolutely no way to feel comfortable while sitting in a desk.
2. Heavy Eyelids: All of a sudden, your eyelids feel like they weigh about 100 pounds. They feel like bricks, and you wonder why this part of your face is so disproportionately heavy compared to everything else. You can't get them to stay open, no matter how hard you try, so you settle for an awkward half-open, half-closed look that no one will buy. At this point, sleep is inevitable no matter what you do.
3. Zombie Sleep: It feels like you're underwater with your eyes open. Everything gets blurry, and you can hear and feel things around you but you have no real sense of what is going on. Your limbs feel cumbersome and bulky, almost as heavy as your eyelids, and you know that if you tried to walk it would be disjointed and Frankenstein-like. You blink for longer and longer periods of time, desperately fighting a losing battle with your eyes, trying to keep them open. You pinch yourself, try to eat something to stay awake, but know that you're losing an uphill battle. All the noises slowly grow muted, and soon all you hear is a dull, soft noise.
4. Dead to the World, The Real Deal Sleep: You have no sense of time, and all you "see" is a dull blackness. Your neighbor subtly points you out to other classmates, and soon word has traveled that you're that one person who fell asleep. People watch, confused at the awkward and seemingly uncomfortable position you've settled into. They wait for you to wake up or for the teacher to catch you, whichever happens first.
5. Where Am I Wake-Up: And then, suddenly it's as if your internal alarm clock kicks in, and your eyelids are miraculously lightened! But you feel lost, like you got off the wrong stop on the bus and don't know what to do. Suddenly, it all comes back to you. The uncomfortable desk that has the one pointy part in the corner you have to remember not to touch. The muffled sound of people writing, turning pages in notebooks. People gawk at you, but you just try to blend in with what the rest of the class is doing, stealthily glancing at the teacher to make sure that they didn't catch you in the act. Feeling safe, and (somewhat) refreshed, you continue on with your day.
This is a very funny (and accurate) post, Claire. I like how you described each stage, and titled each creatively. I can totally relate, especially to number 2. It's quite difficult to pay attention when your eyelids insist on shutting involuntarily.
ReplyDeleteThis is a hilarious post and well written. I kept imagining people through each step, and I agree with each one. I especially enjoyed #3-- the way you phrased everything was so real. I also like the idea of writing steps to something like sleeping in class-- it happens to so many people whether they want it to or not.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how often I find myself doing the "where am I wake-up" however unlike the other four stages, I don't really realize I'm falling asleep. It's more that I shut my eyes to blink and suddenly here I am wondering, "what did I just miss?!??!"
ReplyDeleteI agree with Maya and Berit about the relate-ability factor for your post and I think this would make a fantastic youtube video just throwing it out there that you should hunt down Ryan Higa or someone and pitch this idea!
Oh my goodness, this was precious. My only complaint is that I think you missed the "Head Nodding" stage, which is undeniably the most hilarious part of the whole process. At least to us bystanders. Your voice is so matter-of-fact and lovely. This post was very well-written. I agree with Ellen about the youtube video. We can create a montage of the stages.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so true and funny. You did a great job of summarizing what actually happens when students fall asleep. I also can understand the feeling of getting tired in class, especially at the end of the day after morning swim practice.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how I feel when I fall asleep in class. I can totally relate to you. I especially agree with the heaviness aspect. It's not worth trying to keep your eyelids up, so you just drop them. I normally can't get farther than zombie sleep, since I'm a light sleeper. But, when I wake up, I feel super confused just like you. I don't know what time it is, what class I'm in, or what I should do next.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an accurate and relateable post! I hate to admit it, but I zombie sleep all the time! With swimming and school work, it can get pretty exhausting. You had a strong, confident voice! Lovely post!
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