The 5 Stages of Falling Asleep in Class

It's happened to everyone. Whether you're confused and having a hard time paying attention, had to wake up at an ungodly early hour, or just had to stay up until the end of the Modern Family marathon last night, everyone has taken a little snooze during class at least once in their life. Based on my own personal experience, here's my handy little guide to the five stages of falling asleep in class.

1. The Headache: You're trying to pay attention, but you just can't. You feel restless, but at the same time, feel like you can't move. Your head is pounding, but not in an "I have a migraine and need to go home sort of way." You want to put your head down, and you find yourself wondering why there is absolutely no way to feel comfortable while sitting in a desk.

2. Heavy Eyelids: All of a sudden, your eyelids feel like they weigh about 100 pounds. They feel like bricks, and you wonder why this part of your face is so disproportionately heavy compared to everything else. You can't get them to stay open, no matter how hard you try, so you settle for an awkward half-open, half-closed look that no one will buy. At this point, sleep is inevitable no matter what you do.

3. Zombie Sleep: It feels like you're underwater with your eyes open. Everything gets blurry, and you can hear and feel things around you but you have no real sense of what is going on. Your limbs feel cumbersome and bulky, almost as heavy as your eyelids, and you know that if you tried to walk it would be disjointed and Frankenstein-like. You blink for longer and longer periods of time, desperately fighting a losing battle with your eyes, trying to keep them open. You pinch yourself, try to eat something to stay awake, but know that you're losing an uphill battle. All the noises slowly grow muted, and soon all you hear is a dull, soft noise.

4. Dead to the World, The Real Deal Sleep: You have no sense of time, and all you "see" is a dull blackness. Your neighbor subtly points you out to other classmates, and soon word has traveled that you're that one person who fell asleep. People watch, confused at the awkward and seemingly uncomfortable position you've settled into. They wait for you to wake up or for the teacher to catch you, whichever happens first.

5. Where Am I Wake-Up: And then, suddenly it's as if your internal alarm clock kicks in, and your eyelids are miraculously lightened! But you feel lost, like you got off the wrong stop on the bus and don't know what to do. Suddenly, it all comes back to you. The uncomfortable desk that has the one pointy part in the corner you have to remember not to touch. The muffled sound of people writing, turning pages in notebooks. People gawk at you, but you just try to blend in with what the rest of the class is doing, stealthily glancing at the teacher to make sure that they didn't catch you in the act. Feeling safe, and (somewhat) refreshed, you continue on with your day.

Me, My Blog, and I

If this were the beginning of a movie, you would see a montage of scenes from my life with some kind of a cheerful soundtrack playing. Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, and I don't have the technological genius to put something like that together. So, my dear readers, you'll just have to use your imaginations for now. Sit back, relax, and welcome to the life of Claire!

I was born two months prematurely at 4 pounds, 4 ounces. I had to stay in the hospital for an extra week because the doctors worried my lungs weren't developing. I was also incredibly tiny. That is no longer the case. I'm about 5'10 now and the tallest of the four sisters, but (hopefully) not still growing.

Speaking of sisters, I happen to have three: Bissy, Annemarie, and Maddie (Things 1, 3, and 4 respectively). Bissy is 19 and a sophomore at Rice University in Houston, Texas. She's quirky, lively, and way too well-rounded. She's currently the quarterback on her Powder Puff football team, she plays water polo, she's in choir, and she's also an expert at tango, swing dance, and is currently taking Advanced Two-Stepping. Annemarie is 15 and a sophmore here at Uni. People often confuse us from behind because we share the same mane of curly, bushy, brown hair. She's feisty, sporty, and can do anything. She runs cross-country and track, swims, and is most definitely a biking enthusiast. She also plays the French horn, and she's in choir. She's the sister that I'm closest in age to, and my partner in crime. Last but not least, Maddie is my youngest sister. She only has one volume (very loud), never stops talking, and loves to cheer for us although she has a million and one talents of her own. She runs cross-country, swims, sings in a choir, and loves baking, art, and doing weird things to her hair.

When I was younger, I was never in Pee-Wee soccer, basketball, t-ball, or any other ball sport. Being klutzy on land, my parents decided that a sport in the water would be best for me. Since diving was out (the whole klutzy thing), they put me on the Indian Acres swim team. When I was 8 I joined my club team and I've been swimming year-round ever since.  Although it means forever chlorine-damaged hair, dry, lizard-like skin, and constant blisters on my hands from weightlifting, I love it. This is why you may see me walking to school with soaking wet hair, trying to balance at least four bags along with my breakfast. The answer is simple: morning practice.

When I was in seventh grade, Annemarie introduced me to my only land sport: running. I joined the cross-country team that year, and I was horrible. I was always in the back of the pack, and I hated working hard. All I wanted to do was run with my friends and gossip. The big excitement of my season was getting under 20 minutes in the two mile race. But in eighth grade I started working harder, and I learned how to put my long legs to use. I still have my IESA State sweatshirt from the year. When I came to Uni, I joined the track team my sophomore year and loved it! Two miles was just a bit too long for me, so I run distances that are in the middle (like the 400 and 800 as well as the relays). I've been trying to run longer distances just for fun, and I hope to train for my first half marathon this spring!

And that's me. At least the me that I have to put on college applications, the overview. But just for kicks, here are some other totally random facts about me that you don't get with my basic summary... I like sushi, but I refuse to eat it with vegetables of any sort inside. I have two dogs, Molly and Nora. At one point in my life I had an incredibly unflattering bowl haircut. One of my favorite foods is plain white rice. It is impossible for me to take a nap, no matter how tired I am. I can stand any type of music but country. Over the past two summers I've gone to France and England. I play the euphonium (it looks like a little tuba) because when I was in fourth grade, my mom told me that all of the cute boys played that instrument (she was wrong). I got my license a month after my 17th birthday. I ride all the kiddie rides at amusement parks. I once set something on fire while trying to cook. My favorite subject is French but my accent sounds like an American tourist. I went to Catholic school for nine years. I got into Uni as a transfer freshman year. I can't stand Starbursts.

And that's that, everyone!